


Buzzkill

by Maikanna



Category: Psych
Genre: Amusement Parks, Banter, Bickering, Friendship, Gen, Roller Coasters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-10
Updated: 2016-04-10
Packaged: 2018-06-04 21:44:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6676507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maikanna/pseuds/Maikanna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's hard enough for Lassiter to bear with Spencer's excitement on regular cases, but when the Chief sends them in an amusement park to investigate a murder, Lassiter's patience starts thinning...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Buzzkill

**Author's Note:**

> Hello ! So here it is, my first fic on this website ! This is from a prompt by 221beefcakes on Tumblr (check her out !!!), who challenged me to write a piece about roller coasters, with the OTP of my choice. I always loved the dynamic and the tension between those two, I couldn't resist ! Hope you like it !

« Lassie, I told you, I can’t hear you when I’m having an Episode. »

« But you have no problem bothering me, I suppose. »

« Shhh… I’m sensing something. »

Spencer buried his head back in his cotton candy and Lassiter let out a sigh. He looked around the amusement park. The loud rattle of the machines, the shrieks of the dumb people riding them… He loathed everything about fairs like these. He wasn’t sure why the Chief had insisted he had to go with the idiot. If there was anything worse than being forced to put up with stupid people being excited, it’s being forced to put up with Spencer being excited. Spencer has his own fashion of being stupid that was even more irritating.

« There is cotton candy on your eyebrow. » grumbled Lassiter with a frown.

« Thanks, buddy ! »

_I can’t believe he actually ate the whole thing._

Spencer had insisted that a giant, heart-shaped cotton candy would help him to “canalize the psychic forces” and to “clear his visions”. Or whatever he said, actually, Lassiter didn’t listen most of the time.

« This is pointless! »

« No. Hans Gruber in Die Hard trying to rob a building with Bruce Willis in it, _this_ is pointless. »

Lassiter pretended to ignore the reference, even though Die Hard was his favorite movie of all time. Maybe Spencer had chose it on purpose, maybe not. Somehow it was even more infuriating.

« Our victim worked here, Lassie ! Come on, you gotta admit, there maybe a clue somewhere! »

« Somewhere… in your cotton candy ? »

« No », admitted Spencer with the ghost of a smile, « but maybe in this beautiful candy apple right here… »

« Stop it! » He grabbed Spencer by the arm just as the candy truck passed by them.

Spencer watched it roll away with a dramatic sigh. « And, there is the clue, fading away. I can’t sense anything when my belly is making the rumblies, Lassie ! »

« You just ate your weight in cotton candy, I think your belly can wait an extra hour. »

« Fair enough! » He marked a pause and then elbowed Lassiter in the ribs « Get it ? Fair, because we’re… in a fair ? »

Lassiter just grunted and walked pass Spencer to talk to the colleagues of the deceased.

 

« You’re no fun, Lassie ! Gus would’ve laughed ! And then we would’ve fist bump, like bros ! »

« I don’t want to be your  _bro_ , Spencer! I’m not five anymore. » Said Lassiter without turning back. He almost collided with a clown with a trumpet nose, but heard the voice of Spencer over the noise of the commotion. 

«  _Buzzkill_  ».

* * *

« You heard the guy. We have to check out the roller coaster! »

«  _No_ , that’s not what he said. He said the victim… »

« Used to work on the roller coaster! We have to check it out! It’s for the case! »

« Whatever. They won’t let you in. They don’t let  _dwarves_  in on the ride. So why don’t you have a ride on the ferris wheel while I talk with grownups? »

 

Spencer looked at him with a calculated expression of indignation.

 

« First of all, Lassie, I’ll let you know that it is  _extremely_  offensive to call the little people that way… »

« Oh, shut up! »

« That hurts my feelings, Lassie. Especially since my late father was a small person… »

« Spencer, I know your father, and he’s not dead! »

« That’s not the point, you tall, humid… sponge-y thing ! The point is, you’re being offensive! Apologize. »

« To whom? Your dad? Who’s not a midget, by the way? »

« You’re a police officer! You’re the _Law_! In what world are we living now if the Law doesn’t respect all the citizens! Plus, I’m not small, and I have great hair. »

« What does your hair… »

« Stop changing the subject! We’re going in that roller coaster. You, me and my hair.”

“Listen up, Spencer. You’re not an agent, so don’t think you have any kind of authority on…”

“Shh!” Spencer interrupted him again, a finger in the air. He slamed his ear against a nearby post. “The ride is talking to me!”

“Oh, for Chris’ sake…”

 

Spencer held up his hand to demand silence. People were starting to watch them, probably thinking they were giving a show of some kind.

 

“The post says… We must… ride.” He stood up straight again. “See ? I don’t make the rules.”

 

Lassiter walked into Spencer’s personal space and took his most menacing voice:

 

“Over my dead body.”

 

He had hoped to scare the pants off the brat, but Spencer’s pants seemed very much put together when he asked, nonplussed:

“What’s with you and roller coasters?” 

 

Lassiter rolled his eyes and turned away. Not fast enough apparently.

 

“Wait a minute… Officer Lassiter, are you  _scared_?”

“I’m not scared!” 

“That’s exactly what a scared person would say.”

 

Lassiter took three long breaths while thinking about a peaceful landscape before answering.

 

“I’m here to do my work. Riding a roller coaster is  _not_  doing my work.”

“Wrong! Remember when I solved a murder in a haunted house with Gus? That was a kick-ass case.”

“These rides, they’re not _safe_! It’s not mechanically sound…” he snapped

“So you  _are_  chickening out!”

 

Lassiter stood defeated, Spencer jumping up and down with the “I knew it” expression he usually reserved for the most complex cases. Nothing is worse than a victorious Shawn Spencer. 

 

“Okay.”

“Okay what.”

 

Lassiter shrugged, attempting to look confident.

 

“You’re doing it?”

“ _We’re_  doing it. If you think it’s important for the case…”

 

Before Spencer could start to scream, Lassiter cut him off.

“ _But_ , if you don’t have anything to show me, any clue, any… _vision_ , by the end of the ride, you stay quiet and behave for the rest of the week. Are we clear?”

“Oh, Lassie. You handsome Great Dane. Of course! Anything you want. Let’s buy the tickets!” 

* * *

  
They are climbing slowly in direction of the first downhill, and he virtually can feel Spencer’s pent-up excitement at his left. It’s annoying.

 

“Relax, Lassie! Just enjoy the ride!” 

 

It’s grating that he can’t think of a smart answer on the spot, because he’s sure he’s going to think of a good one later. Snide remarks are easier to find when both of your feet are on the ground, apparently. 

“Don’t worry, dude. If you want, I can pretend to be scared too. You know. So you don’t feel alone.”

“Shut up Spencer!”

 

The car plunged.

* * *

“I can’t believe it!”

“I swear, if you say one more word, I’m going to punch you.”

“You didn’t bat an eye! Not one scream! Not one whimper!”

“Why would I  _whimper_?”

“Gus often does.” shrugged Spencer.

“Well I’m not your idiotic friend. Give me another towel. Look at this mess! I’m going to kill you.”

 

He finished to wipe up the remaining vomit on his shirt and put his holster back grumpily. The vest would have to be taken to the dry cleaning. He still smelled like he just emerged from the sewers, but at least he looked decent. 

 

“Maybe the cotton candy was too much after the pop corn…”

“The pop corn?” He decided he needed to stop being surprise every time Spencer did something irresponsible on a crime scene. “How are you not obese,  _that’s_  a mystery…”

“Good genetics. So, you liked it?”

“You  _puked_  on me!” 

“Yes, but before that? You liked it?”

“Why don’t you read my aura -or whatever!-  To find out ?”

“You have a very peculiar aura, Lassie. An ugly one.”

“You’re not making any sense.”

“It’s your tie that doesn’t make sense. You should thank me for puking on it.”

 

Lassiter considered his chances to get away with murder if he strangled Spencer right there, in the middle of the fair. Maybe jail would be worth it.

 

“Come oooon, Lassie. Don’t sulk.” When he was met with nothing but brooding, he changed his strategy. “I know who did it.”

 

Lassiter turned around so fast his head spun a little.

 

“Are you serious?”

“Yep. The girl we saw at the reception. The one with the braces.”

“And you know that  _how_?”

“Hellooooo ? I’m a  _psychic_ , Lassie ! I told you the ride would give me new elements on the case.”

 

Spencer put his arms on Lassiter’s shoulders and tried to guide him to the front desk. 

 

“After we arrest the girl, we can do it again ?”

“Never.” He shrugged Spencer away. “What I need right now is a shower and some time alone. Far from you.”

“You’re boring! You need to loosen up if you want to pick up hot chicks, my proud cock!”

 

They both stopped on their track. An angel passed. Lassiter felt as if a colony of wasp had attacked his nape.

 

“Don’t  _ever_. Call me like that again.” 

“Yeah. That was weird. I should have said rooster.”

“ _Scatter_.”

“O-kay… I’ll be at the ferris wheel. See ya!”

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos would be wonderful ! Have a nice day !


End file.
